I am good at what I do. People want to buy my product. But this is not for me.
I started my business last fall. I needed something to do – a creative outlet, a purpose beyond being a stay-at-home mom, a second income stream for our family of four. I had always wanted to run my own shop. I did not believe it would be so successful. The idea came from a dear friend; we had stumbled upon a rarity on Etsy.com – a niche with very little competition. I ran with it, worked hard, treated customers the way I like to be treated, found a supplier who cut my costs almost in half, and the orders came.
In the spring, business picked up dramatically. More and more, I was sitting down at my machine while my two kids were awake, instead of waiting for naptime and bedtime to work. And as for naptime and bedtime – well, those no longer held the
magical promise of time for me. I hadn’t read a book in months. My husband and I rarely sat down to watch a movie together; I headed for the sewing machine the second the kids were in bed. And as for fancy… well, fancy isn’t a word I would use to describe not having time to take a shower, four-month-old pedicures, digging for clean clothes and coming up empty, and being confined to bed for days from a work-related neck injury.
But that’s not all.
I had been complaining to friends and family about how the shop was draining me, how I felt like it wasn’t worth the extra money, how I felt like it was eating away at any free time I had to enjoy. How it did nothing for my soul.
There is nothing less fancy than complaining about the same thing over and over again and never doing anything to change it. There is nothing less fancy than not taking responsibility for a decision, than being a martyr, than playing the victim.
Than continuing something that doesn’t serve you – the true you, the legit you, the fancy you.
I’m sitting at my desk, staring at a pile of 300 printed black-and-white cardstock squares ready to be stitched. I have eight more orders to work on when this one is done. Beyond that, my purpose is a little less clear. Most likely put the business on hold. Definitely start writing again. Slowly read the stack of books on my dresser. Spend a little too much time painting my toenails. Watch a movie with my husband.
For now, my daughter and son want to invite me to a party in their room. I don’t know what they’re celebrating, but I’m going to celebrate my decision to take back my fancy.
Karen is a stay-at-home mom to two kiddos, ages 4 ½ and 1 ½. A former journalist and copyeditor, Karen enjoys reading other people’s autocorrect fails and hopes to become a freelance writer in the very near future. A lover of all things crafty, Karen also religiously follows Pinterest to add to her ever-growing to-do list.
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