I was out of my yoga pants and foamy flip-flops. I was out of my safe living room and my safe bed. I was surrounded by many who were very much like me and many who were very much not like me. A community. And I found that I loved it even though it scared the crud out of me. I was terrified and excited for all of the minutes. It was exhilarating. And I kept remembering things about myself. Things I had forgotten about. Things that I found myself smiling about. Things that I needed to remember.
I remembered that I have a knack for getting stuck in a bathroom stall. NO joke. Four times out of ten I will get stuck and for several seconds I will panic about how to escape. Them I'm all like, "Well, hmmm, let me try the lock again and actually look at it this time".
I remembered that when I'm taking a selfie in a public bathroom, someone is always going to walk in. And I am always going to say something ridiculous while giggling like a crazy person and rushing out the door. It is what it is.
I remembered that I am brave and that it's ok to be afraid as long as it never keeps me from living. I remembered that we are ALL a little bit afraid.
I remembered that everyone has a story and that I love listening to those stories. I love telling those stories. I love reading those stories.
I remembered that nothing is impossible. Even though my dream won't be easily achieved, I will never regret going for it. Even if I fall on my face.
I remembered that I should wear necklaces. And ear rings. And dresses. I remembered that I feel pretty in them.
I remembered that I over pack for everything I do. I had enough clothes to stay for several weeks. I am thinking of calling this Diaper Bag Syndrome. But if anyone needed a Shout stain removal wipe, I had their back. Or extra hair ties or a brush because I had two brushes. Two. Who needs two brushes?
I remembered that people are human. And that all you have to do is take a deep breath and go ahead and talk to them. They are real, just like you. They probably have the same worries that you do. We all just want to be talked to. We all just want to be listened to. Even if you have a blog crush on them or they are famous or they founded BlogHer itself. Talk to them. Just go on ahead.
I was reminded that I have the best readers on the internet. Duh.
I remembered that I can fly away from home and be eager and excited and relieved to nurture just me but that I will always be ready to come home to the love that we have built here. Even if that means we are back to 5 a.m. wake-up calls (which it did... yawn).
BlogHer 13 was sensory overload and exhausting and scary and huge and busy and wild and fun. I have blisters on my feet. My legs are still tired. I have a headache today that won't go away. And reintegration is a bit rough today. But I'd do it again in a heartbeat because...well...because it was amazing. It was just amazing. Despite , of course, getting busted by two women while taking this duck-face selfie in the bathroom.