Once we brought Ms. Plum home and the intial curiosity wore off, it took Mr. Pants about 3 solid months to really see his baby sister. Until then, it seemed she didn't exist to him. He never looked at her or came over to try and touch her. I worried about his feelings but he didn't seem bothered either. So then I worried that he didn't seem bothered. I worried that inside he was in turmoil and would be scarred for life because we'd had the audacity to bring another kid into the mix. I agonized over what I could do to help him to want to get to know her. I thought about it all the time. But my solutions fell flat. Then he came up with one. He wanted to nurse. He'd weaned himself six months before while I was pregnant because the milk was gone. But I had long suspected that he wasn't ready. At least not completely. He watched as I nursed Ms. Plum and I could see his wheels turning. Then on a very generic day, with no warning, he waited until I put her down for a nap and crawled into my lap and he nursed. Only for a minute or two. He was 23 months old.
It seemed like nursing was the connection he made with Plum. He'd stop and see her for about 10 seconds, then 15,20,30. He'd watch her, taking her in for a moment and then going about his business. Then one day about 11 weeks in, it happened. He came to me, looked me in the eye, looked right at Ms. Plum and smiled. He walked over to the couch, picked up the Boppy pillow and sat down waiting for me to bring her to him. The look on his face, excited. I frantically found the camara to document this momentous occasion and started snapping away. I told him that Plum had been waiting for him to hold her and that it made her very happy. And it really did. She smiled and cooed and looked into her big brothers eyes as if to say, "Oh hey big brother. I totally love you". Then he leaned down and kissed her, the big, sloppy, open mouth, drooly kind, and she laughed. AND my floodgates opened and I cried all over the place. I tried to stifle it because crying confuses Mr. Pants and I didn't want him to think I was sad, so I started to laugh through my tears. My chin started to quake because, damn, this was the most precious freaking thing I had ever seen in all of my days. My chest rose and I felt that hard lump rise in my throat. I will never forget the day my babies finally found eachother. To an outside observer, I more than likely looked insane. And maybe I was a little.