Here are the awards I earned this week.
Because I deserve them.
1. The Guts of Steel Award:
I got barfed on. On purpose. A lot. By both children. Something primal took over. And it turns out I'd rather be bathed in vomit then scare them anymore than they already are by forcing them over a bucket or toilet. This week I held both of my kids while they barfed what seemed like buckets all over me. I took Mr. Pants to the toilet but he was afraid. So we sat on the floor next to the toilet surrounded by towels. I graciously accept (!) my Guts of Steel Award and would like to thank my mom for being awesome and comforting to me when I would barf as a child.
2. The I Watched a Movie Award:
I did. During the day. It took me four days to finish it and Mr. Pants yelled "YO YO!" at me about fourteen hundred times expressing his disapproval and preference for Yo Gabba Gabba. But I watched Fame. And even though it was a stinking pile of poo. I am proud to have finished a movie that only I wanted see for the first time in a year. I accept this award and thank Irene Cara for making me want to go to a New York City performing arts high school so bad that I watched a totally crap remake twenty five years later.
3. The Cleanliness is Next to Godliness Award:
I showered four times this week. Four times. And I scrubbed the floors. The end. Award please!
And in the spirit of spreading the love, I'd also like to give a few awards.
4. The Poop Nurse Award
And the winner is.....my friend Tiff! Tiff talked me through my baby girl's first bout with some nasty constipation and held my hand the whole way. And now my baby's pooping great because Tiff knows her shit. <== see what I did there?
5. The Tigress Award
And the winner is...Kelly! Who blogged this week about getting back in the sack after having a baby and all the crazy body issues that come with that. I'm still struggling with my post baby body and I totally needed to read that. Big ups, Kelly. Big ups.
Feel free to offer an award to yourself in the comments. Because you deserve one or seven. I will clap for you and aknowledge your award. OR you can nominate another mama for a deserved award. Give out as many as you would like. Here is your award. Most obvious to me is that it could hold a decent amount of wine, no?