My subject was submitted by: Karen, herself so make sure you check her out! All of the Secret Subject Swap bloggers are listed at the bottom of this post. Have some fun and go read them too! But first, here's mine.....
My secret subject is:
If you could pick one chore and never have to do it again, what would it be and why?
I hate it so much.
I'm kind of a quitter. In the way that if I can't be really good at something I tend to quit it outright. It's my ego and stuff. Here is a short list of some things I attempted and quit after finding out I sucked at them...
* Piano: I do not have a math or science brain. I just don't. So it may come as a shock to those who know me that I can't (read: absolutely cannot) read music. In any way. It would be a shock to some because I am a singer and I catch on to melodies and harmonies really fast. But I really can't read music. I am, in fact, an excellent note guesser. A faker. Total weeks trying to learn piano = 3
*Set design class: I needed this to graduate with a degree in theater. I could not do it. It made no sense to me. It's architecture, man. So I switched my major to Sociology. Ok, ok, I didn't switch only because of the set design class. But it was the proverbial straw and all. Total weeks spent realizing that I am not an architect = 5
*Basketball: Both of my brothers were kind of amazing athletes. My oldest brother was crazy good at basketball. I tried it. It's hard and I'm short. Number of weeks I spent understanding that running back and forth was not my thing = 1
*Diet and exercise: Total cliché but still true. Number of weeks spent trying to diet = Hahahahahahahahaha! <cries>
*My divorce puppy: I brought him home from the APL after my divorce thinking I needed a new companion and someone to love me unconditionally. Ha HA! That dog destroyed my life and my house. He ATE the floor in the bathroom. He ate it. Perhaps he sensed my neediness and couldn't handle the pressure? Maybe he was just the devil? Regardless, 4 weeks in, I gave up on him and took him back. His name was Dudley Peterson (Divorce Puppy). And I quit him. To clarify though, I am no monster. I did not kill him. I just gave him back like a quitter.
So that's a very short list but you get the point right? If I can't do it well, my tendency is to not try anymore. I give up. But there's a problem with this and my burning desire to never cook again. My kids have to eat or they will not grow. Sure, when I was single a normal dinner for me was a bagel with cream cheese, a pickle and some sliced up green peppers with ranch. But I can't not (Double negative in the house!) cook for my kids. The first rule of Fight Club, ahem, I mean parenting, is that you are to feed the children. You are in charge of their nutrition and stuff. I have to cook. And that kind of burns my ass (Sorry mom! I tried to not cuss at all in this post but "burns my booty" isn't whiny and pissy enough). Having to cook does burn my ass. And it's because I'm just don't excel at it. I don't find it fun and I have ideas that I can't actually make happen. And all of that makes me very whiny and sad and insecure. So if I could, I would quit it. I would quit it in a heartbeat.
So it's kind of awesome that I married a chef, right? Because I'm allowed to quit half the time. And if I can't quit all together because the kids need to eat more than crackers and applesauce, then I guess that will do. And I'll just keep trying to excel (yawn) at this cooking thing. Who knows maybe it will just be one of those things where it takes 25 years to hit your stride and one day I will suddenly know my way around meal preparation. But, of course, I call bull dookie (See? I love you, mom) on that. Cooking blows. It takes forever and the end result is mediocre at best. But I guess you never know. Maybe tonight I will be visited by my cooking fairy godmother and I will be gifted with the skills I desire. OR I will just continue to sit back and watch my man make magic in the kitchen and thank my lucky stars.
If you could give up a chore forever and ever, what would it be?
Below are the other subject swappers! Grab some coffee (or cook yourself a quick breakfast in honor of me) and read the others submissions!
PS: Thank you for hosting once again, Karen! xoxoxo