It's been officially Spring for like a week now and Winter is hanging on like some butthole party guest who can't take the hint that no one likes him. You know that guy. He started out as fun but then spilled beer on your couch and was all "Duuuuude, I was so wasted! Bwahahahaha! PARTY!" and you are like "Oh, yeah, haha, you are so funny except that I hate you." That guy.
Here in the middle of bog land, the trees are trying to bud and then getting snowed on. The ground is a formation of frozen mud with toys that were buried in snow and are now trapped in mounds of frozen gravel and ice, and then snowed on again. The robins have returned all crazy pregnant, looking uncomfortable and wondering what the hell is going on. I feel you, robins of the bog, I feel you. We, the Family Pants have been holed up in this tiny house waiting for a glimmer of Spring but at least we are not carrying multiple children and waiting for our home to be built. I suppose it could always be worse.
But we have gone a bit off the rails. We have stirred long enough in this house that we have bucked some rules (dinner for breakfast!) and taken some risks (inflatable play yards of disease). We have reached critical mass and are starting to rebel. So far I have stopped short of doing a naked dance on top of a snow mountain. But I'm not above it. It might still happen. So I am raising my virtual middle finger to you, Old Man Winter. You know what you did. The following acts of rebellion were aimed at you...
We went to a new restaurant for no good reason at all other than to see what would happen. Now that might not sound so crazy to you but for us it is an act of insanity. Dining out is pretty much the most terrifying thing that we do as a family. Start with the fact that our children are just 3 and 4 years-old. Add in food allergies for one and oral defensiveness(read: doesn't eat a dang thing) for the other and basically every time we eat out, Brandon and I are playing roulette with our sanity. But we did it. We did it because we were already crazy.
We are also riding bikes in the driveway when the sun comes out. Daredevils. We are daredevils.
A few weeks ago, Plum straight up destroyed her winter coat in a fit of defiance so amazing and filled with mud that all I could do was bare witness to such an act of destruction and marvel. As a result I have refused to buy a new one.
I have also refused to buy myself new snow boots. Mine are beyond dead. Holes. Separated soles. They are not just merely dead, they're really, most sincerely, dead. I'd be better off going barefoot. Surely, Spring is right around the corner? Yet as I double and triple layer sweatshirts on Plum and tip-toe through snow in my open top shoes to the car, I wonder...Dost thou mock me, Spring?
To conclude, yesterday at noon the sun was high in the cloudless sky. The ground, while frozen solid, was clear of snow. By 4 pm it looked like a frignany Winter wonderland. Today at 3 pm it is melting again. Teasing. Dangling the proverbial carrot. I am left to question if we are being punished for being terrible assholes to the environment. Or maybe I am personally being punished for letting my kids watch too much TV this Winter. But I mean...I can not glue ONE MORE PIECE OF DYED PASTA TO A CARD or make another batch of play-doh without losing my damn mind. So I fall on my sword and watch Frozen...again.
I think tonight we will make popcorn and introduce the magic of Christopher Reeve as Superman. Let's just all say a little prayer that by the time we get to the shining turd that is Superman 3, this Winter will be over. These kids need grass and sun. And by "these kids", I mean all four of us.
Please, baby unicorns, make it so. Amen.
Everything Will be Alright, Stop Freaking Out, Winter WILL End, and Life as We Know it Will Get Warmer and Prettier, So Help Me God, Amen Day. Have a great one, friends!