You are five and three years-old now, you guys. So I'd like you to work on a few things, with my help of course. Though sometimes my help will actually look like me NOT helping, always remember that I love you.
There are times when I am trying to teach you to do some things for yourself and suddenly forces from the nether worlds render you completely helpless to put your shoes on. Sometimes those forces go one step further and actually make you blind. This is terrifying. The socks are right there in front of your face. But you can't see them. So scary.
Also, one of things we need to work on is the fact that no one else is good enough to assist you in the bathroom. It makes me feel extra special that even when your daddy is actually IN the bathroom with you, you will still yell for my assistance. This applies to most things really. It's like you want to see me work for your love or something. It's weird.
I sometimes worry that you have supernatural powers, too. I worry about this because you both seem to be able to melt each other's faces with a single hairy eyeball while riding in the car. I hope that you learn to control that power and use it only for good someday instead of randomly melting each other's faces off for sport. It's a great skill when honed but at this time in your lives you are careless with it. Let's improve.
Ok, let's see.... Oh yes! There is something you need to know. It's a pretty common rule among humans of a certain age. It can be a little confusing but it is very important for you to learn this so that you remain in the good graces of all the people of your future that you will be sleeping next to or near. When there is no light in the sky, the entire world is sleeping. That may come as a shock to you but it's the truth and mama always tells you the truth. People, in general, do not like to talk or see other people before 7 am or sometimes even later. Now you might be thinking, "Mama? Have you not liked talking to me when I wake everyday feeling like a deliciously rested energy ball?" and I will be honest. There have been 6 times that I enjoyed waking before the sun with you. Maybe 7. And no more than 8. Total. Don't let that make you sad. Let that empower you! Sleep is good. You will love it!
Sometimes I think of these little things that make my eyeballs twitch and cause me to smile that smile that has just this side of actual crazy behind the eyes and I laugh. Usually it's a laugh inserted into quietness and it makes the people in the grocery store afraid of me but other times I giggle to myself about all the ways parenting has changed me. I think about the young gal who thought she had parenting figured out before either of you were a twinkle in the stars. I think about all the ways I thought it would be and I was so very wrong about a lot of it.
I AM tired. I DO need a butler. I CAN'T pee alone. I DO say things I wish I could take back. There ARE moments (days?) of utter chaos. I HAVE put deodorant on the outside of my t-shirt. You CAN forget to put the coffee carafe back in the pot and brew coffee all over your counters.
But hey, munchkins, don't you sweat it. Even if I do sometimes. Because I was right about most of it. You ARE worth it. Your laughter CAN erase sadness. You kisses DO have magic in them. My heart DOES ache with love for you. You will grow up. You already are. And I do my best everyday not to wish this time to speed up. Even if you did just crush all of your cheese crackers with your Thor hammer and spread them out out on your train table. "Look, mama! Cheesy snow!"
See, I know someday you will stop wanting me next to you in the middle of the night and your little voices will certainly fade away from 6 a.m and be replaced by me forcing you out of bed at noon. There will come a day when the very thought of my help is insulting because you will want to do everything for yourself. Someday I will sleep as long as I want and have much less mess to clean up.
Someday I will remember none of the chaos of these early years. I will only remember how much I loved the smaller versions of you and I will no doubt cry for them when it's quiet. And probably in the grocery store. Then I will go home and pull out all the pictures like this one and sob my eyes out. Because, look at at you two.