She let's me put pigtails in her hair. She giggles when she sees herself in the mirror.
She wants me to build blocks with her and color.
She brings me back.
He asks me to sing. We sing the whole song. Five times.
He brings me back.
Especially when he smiles at me like he has gas.
They don't let me stay down for long. These three. They smile at me and meow like a cat. They say "Come on, Mama! Pway wif me" or "Bid-digga ba-digga wet's go!" and "I love you, babe."
We take terrible family photos and that makes me giggle.
So I do. Because that is the revelation. I really am just who I am.
And as I let go of things that are painful, I step out of my head and back into my life.