Your “Secret Subject” is: If your kids had to describe you to a stranger, what would they say?
My subject was submitted by: www.3monkeysandamartini.com. So make sure you check her out. All of the Secret Subject Swap bloggers are listed at the bottom of this post. Have some fun and go read them too! But first, without further ado, I present to you....
Boogers on the Wall (or Why I Love My Mom) by Mr. Pants
But my mom is cool. Mostly because she totally doesn't hate me for wiping boogers on the wall. She really doesn't. She was even giggling the other day as she cleaned them off. She said, "Pants you are killing your mother. Killing her." but she said it in a funny way like they do in the movies. If I'm being honest though, I'm not sure how she knew it was me. I mean, I'm not the only one living here, you know. But like me, she's really smart. Like a detective, you guys. I cannot pull anything over on her. It's frustrating and limits my creative expression. And Daddy is always informing on me. Yesterday he said to her, "Have you ever just looked hip-high at the walls? That's where you will find them." Then Mama said "That little booger" and I knew he was turning me in. Total betrayal. I'm still hurt. I thought Daddy had my back.
Moving on. <- My mom says that all the time.
Let's see, what else? My mom really appreciates my artistic integrity. I did this drawing on the wall a while back and she tries to polish it all the time to keep it shiny. She says things like, "It just won't ever come off" and "Wow, bud, you really decorate the house, don't you?" I like to contribute. I can tell she loves that about me. That's why she keeps all of my art on the furniture too. This is a special honor because my best artistic mediums are food and Sharpies. I know I know, people tell me all the time it's because she refuses to buy nice things until I can express myself differently. I'm not buying it. She sees the genius in my art and the extension of my soul through gorilla artfare (So, end of discussion, Daddy).
So in conclusion, I don't want to brag but my mom is awesome. I have come to this conclusion because everybody says that I am just like her and since I am awesome that would mean that she is too. She's lucky to have a kid like me. Seriously. But I have to go now. Plum just took my Lego truck and I'm about to Hulk out which is perfect because mama just bought a new cantaloupe and if I move fast enough I can smash the ever loving stuffing out of it before she hands me the play-doh.
About the Author
Mr. Pants is a three year old self-motivated life over-achiever. He spends his days creating an elaborate system designed to keep all the toys away from his baby sister. Often unsuccessful in this endeavor, the remainder of his time is spent hiding the most important toys in his life and then forgetting where he hid them. He enjoys food that is individually packaged and The Incredible Hulk. He would like you to know that it's not his fault that he has more boogers than the average three year old and to please not pass judgment on him for this. In his spare time he enjoys imaginary car maintenance and invading the personal space of stray cats.