AP is an approach, rather than a strict set of rules. It's actually the style that many parents use instinctively. Parenting is too individual and baby too complex for there to be only one way. The important point is to get connected to your baby, and the baby B's of attachment parenting help. Once connected, stick with what is working and modify what is not. You will ultimately develop your own parenting style that helps parent and baby find a way to fit – the little word that so economically describes the relationship between parent and baby.
Quoted from the site http://askdrsears.com/topics/attachment-parenting. You can also find all the "baby B's" there.
I am not a rule follower. Actually I often say things like, "the rules are there ain't no rules" or "I know I'm not supposed to cuss around the children but I won't be tamed!" Ok, the latter one was more of a confession so just never mind that and let's keep going.
I never actively looked for a parenting style. I didn't comb through a bunch of books as my belly grew to gargantuan sizes hoping to find rules for bringing up our kids. I never took a breastfeeding class (totally should have). I never even considered co-sleeping let alone bed sharing. We had a nursery set up and back-up formula in the cupboard just in case my boobs didn't make the milky-milks. My friend had given me a Moby and I thought it was a smidgey bizarre (so, wait I'm supposed to wrap the tiny human to my body? Weird.) I thought I would probably do some sleep training too. My thought was that at around four months old, we would move the babies out of the room with us and into their own cribs in their own rooms. I figured that the transition would be a bit tough on everybody but that it would be important.
But then slowly things began to unfold differently than I thought they would. Mr. Pants didn't latch for the first eleven days of his life but my milk was enough to feed not just him but also all of the neighbor children. At four months old we had learned some things about him and sleep. Moving him into another room would have resulted in no one sleeping. Wearing him helped his gas and sensory processing. Etcetera etcetera etcetera.....we evolved, we adapted and we experimented. And then one day it occurred to me that we were following the AP style. Not because we made a conscious choice to, but because it's what came naturally to us once crossed into parenthood and met our kid.
But I didn't answer my own question, right? What I asked you was, "When I hear the term Attachment Parenting, I think .
So having said all that up there, here is my answer.
When I hear the term Attachment Parenting I think , "Ughhhhhhhh" (complete with dramatic facial expressions and over blown sigh). Sometimes when I hear the term it makes me roll my eyes so hard. It's true. Not because I don't jive with the style (obvs), but because the term itself suuuuuucks. It's a craptastic name. Because it stops people from even knowing what it is before judging it to be ridiculous. It makes people think things like, "cut the cord, already!" or smothering parenting or creates defensiveness because well, the opposite of attached is detatched. There's no getting around that. And add in a few sancti-mommies making people feel less than enough by condemning other parenting styles and you've got the makings of an "I'm better than you" powder keg. Result? Mommy wars.
Like so very many things, Attachment Parenting has an image problem. And it's because the internet is a silly little place where misinformation spreads like herpes and people get wild hairs and rant (GUILTY!).
The loudest people are always the fanatical ones, right? That's true for e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. Ya know, the squeaky wheels and how they get the grease? That. Attachment Parenting has some really squeaky wheels, dudes. And squeaky wheels are experts at condescension and superior thinking. And they get noticed and put on TV in shows like Wife Swap and Extreme Parenting! They get interviewed on news shows and talk shows making us look like a bunch of douchecanoes. But I know that "The Situation" Sorrentino does not represent the entire male population of New Jersey and I am POSITIVE that the vast majority of Christian parents are not like the self-proclaimed God Warrior. So, my hope with this post is that most people will be able to see that the squeaky wheels do not represent all parents that use attachment parenting in their tool box. You know, people like me. Because I promise you that I'm not crazy and I don't think that you are either.
The floor is now open for questions and comments. Just be nice or I will wrap you in a Moby and breastfeed you. ;)