Who Are These Pants People?
Colleen Thoele (Mama Pants)
Colleen Thoele writes this blog, is a child advocate, awesome wife, best mother ever, worst mother ever, greatest sister of all time and lover of sensible clothing. Why am I talking about myself in the third person? Ahem...
Born and raised in Ohio, I have come to believe that Ohio is, in fact, the Heart of it All. And not just because it is positioned in the general heart area of the map. I am the baby of the family and suffered, I mean, learned at the hands of two older brothers. I love my mom and dad so that's cool.
I married at 23, became a social worker at 25 and divorced at 27, floundered, got lost, drank too much and was an idiot. A fun idiot, but an idiot none the less.
At 28, my doctor found cancer on my cervix and that suuuucked. But it was caught early and we knocked that shit out. And that made it possible for me to carry my future babies. The same doctor that cared for me during the cancer shiz went on to deliver both of my squirrely kids. I think that is kind of awesome. So ladies, go get a pap screening, like every year, because I said so.
I spent my 30th year laying on my couch watching So You Think You Can Dance and crying so my bestie signed me up for a dating site. I was all, "No way, dude. That's creepy. I won't even look. No way. Now how!" Then all alone in my office at work I looked. One horribly uncomfortable match with a Latin fella that talked about his mom and loved Tom Hanks too much was the price I paid because the next date was Daddy Pants. I spurned his goodnight kiss on the first date because I am a lady, sheesh. But he came back and cooked me dinner on the second date so I made out with him.
We got married in a lavish(gigglesnort) ceremony. I walked the aisle to a lovely acoustic rendition of Blue Oyster Cult's Don't Fear the Reaper and we headed out to Las Vegas.
Three weeks later a twinkle in my eye suddenly disappeared and started growing in my belly. At least I think that's how it happened. Anyhoo, Mr. Pants came out screaming 40 weeks later via emergency c-section. 21 months after that, Plum exploded onto the scene. And that's that.
I'm 75% crunchy, 25% what the hell? We cloth diaper and co-sleep. I am a champion breastfeeder.
I will always enjoy glitter, glow sticks and feathers and can sculpt your hair into a tidal wave. I have been known to have some irrational fears but whatever. And I have many many opinions about things. Like this. Or this. I'm a bit crazed at times and have an admitted flare for the dramatic. I belong to a secret cult-like organization called The Laydeez. I really dig writing, singing, choreographing dance routines and dressing my children (and yours) in striped clothing.
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Daddy Pants is a chef (score!) and master blackjack player. He enjoys gaming, wrestling with children so he can win, groundhogs, and making yummy food. He will also watch terrible 80's movies with you if you are so inclined. He is an avid tie dye wearer and believes in mixing metaphors. He one day hopes to fullfill his lifelong dream of winning the lottery. He does dishes, cooks and does laundry which make him awesome and very popular in this house. He is the one that has always understood Mr. Pants on a level that no one ever could. Here's a little story about that. This dude is the love of my life and I'd be lost without his crazy town antics.
Mr. Pants is three years old and awesome. He enjoys running, spinning, climbing, opening and closing things, flushing the toilet and pretending to talk on the phone. Other activities include, but are not limited to, telling me, "NO WAY!", wearing only socks and shoes, dancing to classic rock jams, being amazed and peeing standing up. He is kind, funny and will wear you out with his go go go which makes him unpredictable and cool. He can dance better than Michael Jackson and has no time for silly things like wearing clothes. We have been on a journey with this little dude since May of 2011 to discover what it is that makes him tick. He is cool to watch because he has figured out how to be the coolest kid in town despite a few obstacles. You can find his story all over this blog. Start here and then here. What about here? Also here and here.
Ms. Plum is 2 years old (sniff sniff) and enjoys blowing raspberries, laughing, farting, screaming like Bruce Lee, bumble walking and nursing like Mary Lou Retton might have nursed as a baby. An expert photobomber, She is no longer content to watch her brother's loony tunes craziness and be adorable. She wants in on the action (Save us!). Bath time is her latest thrill and also putting boxes on her head. Her current love affair is with bad music. But we are working on that. She is also fantastically chubby. She is the great equalizer in this family. She is calm and cool and no one is sure where she gets that from. But that doesn't mean she's a door mat. This girl has sassmatass for days. She is currently totally impressed with herself and so are we. It's about to get all kinds of crazy in this house as she grows up. I have a feeling that her and Mr. Pants will be the best of friends while kicking each others butts. Only time will tell. Here's some love for Plum. And also here.