You know when your kid looks at you with those oh-shit-eyes reserved only for the pukes and trots? You've seen The Look before. You know it. It's the one that makes you reach for the nearest receptacle or towel with a preternatural speed. It's the one that makes you cup your hands in front of them when you know full well you have no time, because you'd rather catch it than scrub it out of the carpet. The Look makes you draw your infant closer into you right before you feel the warm and horrifying feeling of barf running down your back. 

Three years and nine months. That's our magic number. Because last night our big kid gave the oh-shit-eyes and then learned how to point and shoot. And for that I would like to give a What! What! to the Universe. Because those Buzz Lightyear jammies over there? They are his favorite. He's been wearing them for three days now and they never got a drop on them. And that is a frignany miracle. No kid should have to go through being sick without their favorite jammies.

So hang in there parents of infants and toddlers! There will come a day when the kid will be able to assume the position and aim. And when that happens you will be very surprised by how happy you are about it. Giddy, even. In fact, you might marvel with your parenting partner about it for an hour. Saying things like, "Wow, dude! We got through this with just one sheet change and one load of laundry! Isn't that just amazing?" and you will high-five each other like you are the bosses of life.  

Then your kid will wipe his pukey and snotty face all over your clean t-shirt and remind you that you are most definitely not the boss in a puking situation. Not even a little bit.  Because  everytime he gives you The Look, you still have the urge to cup your hands.