True story: Mr. Pants had the gall to start pooping and peeing on day one of his life. But I was ready. I had all the good diapers and creams and wipes and a Diaper Genie. I was ready to clean up his bum and dispose of those turd bombs and never have to think about it again. But I soon became an expert in diaper rash. We spent seventy bugabillion dollars on every single cream and ointment and serum and powder and bottle of magic fairy tears available on the market. Doctor visits happened. Was it persistent yeast? Food allergy reactions?
For the love of the Diaper Genie why oh why was my son's butt always on fire?!
Dudes, I cried for his butt. It was horrifying.
I became an expert at pulling the diaper down when he would begin a bowel movement so that the poop would drop and barely touch his flaming skin. I soaked him in baking soda baths and let him go diaper free and pee on my floor because I couldn't bear to see him cry every time he peed in his diaper. Diaper rash became my arch nemesis. I was determined to kick its ass. So to speak.
And then the light bulb went off.
It was the frignany diapers themselves. And all the stuff they put in them to make them smell fresh (ha!) and stay dry even when filled with pee. It was the dang diapers. And we had to do something about it. When this occurred to us, a shock of ice cold fear shot through our veins. We probably both began sweating and crying. The conversations went something like this...
Me: "Oh shit, dude. And also, OH MY GOD! We can't cloth diaper!"
Daddy: "No way. That's so gross! Wait, wait, let's do those organic disposables. Who cares if they are 2 bucks a crap and we'd have to have them shipped to us."
Me: "I can't do cloth or I will cry and I will also die. You have to do the laundry. WAHHHH!!"
Or something like that. It was all very dramatic.
But I have some friends who did just that. They put cloth diapers on their kids' butts and they were even happy to do it. I was all, "Yeah right, dudes" but they insisted. And I let them talk me off the ledge. Then I talked Daddy off the ledge and we bought a few pocket diapers to try out. We've been cloth diapering ever since. Because in ONE DAY, Pants had no rash and it never came back. I was sold. And when Plum was born we had all these diapers so why would we waste our money buying disposables? The rest is history.
It's not disgusting. Actually, yes, of course it is. As a general rule, cleaning poop off of people is disgusting. But it's no more gross than that rank Diaper Genie you've been lining with trash bags because buying the bag refills got old fast. It's no grosser then...diapering somebody. So if you are thinking about cloth and you wonder if you are cut out for it, here are my top six reasons you should do it. Go for it, dude.
2. Diaper rash: I already explained that one up there. Mr. Pants was allergic to the disposable diapers. But Plum is not. She has had two diaper rashes in her whole life. One when we discovered her milk allergy and the other from antibiotics. We have never had to use a diaper cream on her beyond those two times. It's kind of amazing.
3. The environment: Duh. It's better for the environment and stuff. No putting poop and pee and a bunch of chemicals in a landfill somewhere.
4. They are so cute: When my lady friends were telling me that it's addicting to cloth diaper I was all, "Mmm-hmm, suuuure, dudes" but it turns out that fluffy bums are the cutest damn thing you will ever see. Adorbio. It's just all so damn cute. And if you are going to poop into something, it might as well be adorable, right?
5. It's Easy: This is the biggest fear that people have, I think. That there is so much work involved. There really isn't, though. You let the poop roll off into the toity and then toss the dipe in a pail. Rinse, wash, rinse and dry. I find that never having to run to the store to buy diapers makes up for the twenty seconds of holding your nose when you dump the pail into the washer. That's as gross as it gets.
6. Poop Neck: You know what I'm talking about, right? When they literally poop all the way up to their necks? Those poops that have to end with a bath? Those. They almost never exist with cloth diapers. The poop cannot get out of the leg holes to run down the pants or up the waistband to shoot up to the neck. The poop actually stays IN the diaper. This is especially exciting when your family is all hit by the stomach flu one week before Christmas.
There you have it. Those are our reasons. So if you are interested in cloth diapering your baby, I say do it, dude! Check out this site and learn the ropes. Oh and did I mention they were cute? Because, I mean....