As a child I was certain I would be the greastest mother that ever walked this earth (and maybe even other planets), but I never really thought about what it really meant to be a stay at home mom. I was sure that I'd be a classy career gal or a broadway star happily going to work each day dressed like a million bucks then joyously return home to my babies who would be perfectly behaved and thrilled to see me. I had no idea the pull to stay at home would be so intense and so, well, yeah intense. So now I'm home to raise these babies. And some days are bliss, while others are...not bliss. There are days when I'm ON. I'm in sync with these people and they are in sync with me and we glide through the day on a cloud attached to a rainbow or something. It's awesome. But there are some days that are down right awful, humbling, mind numbing and completely insane. I had one of the latter today. At one point I found myself crying to my girlfriends online about my demon spawn while he sat on the floor eating a fridge magnet and staring me down like a crazed gorilla baby. I could feel the heat of his gaze. I wondered if he was planning his next tactical assault. I braced myself for what I was sure would be hour ten of the craziest day we had had in quite awhile but instead he climbed his lil naked butt up onto the couch and fell asleep like a sweet baby angel. Reprieve from the Governor granted. So here I am tonight. And now that everyone is asleep, I gotta regroup and get to deciding that tomorrow will be freaking glorious. Tomorrow will kick today's ass into last week (does that even make sense? I'm tired). My one saving grace when I find myself at the end of a crap day, wherein I was a crap mom, is that I do not go to bed defeated or angry or sulking or having a pity party. I decide that tomorrow I will wake up like Cinderella and the birds are gonna be chirping and crap. I am gonna smile and sing through the morning like Mr. Disney told me I should. It's gonna be sunshine and rainbows damn it. I will fake it if I have to, because I just refuse to have two bad days in a row. I can. not. stand. bad days and I know they can't either. So tomorrow we get it back. Tomorrow is a new day. Bring it on tomorrow! (cue: music)
Maybe some ground rules, general statements and preemptive apologies etc.are in order? Just to help us all stay on the same page.
* I require regular naps. I am grumpy without normal sleep. And guess what? So are you. We can not do our best work without naps. A napless day is just horrible for everybody. Let's not torture ourselves.
* No peeing on the floor! Or on your food! Or on me! I'm looking at you dude. You know who you are. Now I understand that your body has this neato little hose attached that can shoot water up to five feet away. This is a super cool feature on your body and I get that. However, it is completely gross and makes mommy want to barf when you cross your hands into the stream.
* It would be cool if you would clean up after yourself. See when daddy left for work there was no peanut butter smeared all over the couch and windows, or spaghetti dumped on the floor, or a cheez-its crumbled onto the floor ala Cookie Monster. And just because they are not there when he gets back, doesn't mean they didn't happen. Cause they totally happened.
* Dancing is mandatory. I love dancing with you babies. You are encouraged to call out your own dance party when ever the mood takes you.
* I will happily accept payment in hugs, new words, firsts and kisses. However, if a day comes where this is not sufficiant or I am expected to put in double overtime, I may also require cash and a massage.
* There may be a time when I am not doing a great job. I'm gonna throw it out there that it may even be once or twice (3 times?) a week. While I know that this will be my fault because I am the adult, I might think for a minute that it's your fault. Let's all agree to disagree about it and move on like civilized human beings.
* About that time when I thought you did that thing that you didn't do and you tried to tell me and I wouldn't listen? Sorry about that.
* I love you crazy people. And I always will.
* Oh My GOD Mr. Pants! What are you? Two? Rubbing your peanut butter hands all over your baby sister while trying to smooch her with globs of peanut butter dripping from your mouth is not a good idea bud. Not a good idea. Not at all.
* I will not make you wear clothes all the time, but please, how about some of the time? I'd be nice to have decent pictures of you in your third year of life without having to crop out your bits.
* Listen up, this one's important. Love your mom. Because no one will ever love you the way that she does. Yes you will know great love in your life. But hers will always be a little bit different from the others and in a class of it's own. Not better or worse (ok, maybe a little better). Just unique and unwaivering. Unconditional. A Mama's love is total. And both of you little babes are fiercely loved. So love your mama. Got it?
So now that we've got some rules and random statements to work with, let's get on to tomorrow and rule it. Bring on the sunshine and rainbows, Saturday! The Pants family is ready.
Maybe some ground rules, general statements and preemptive apologies etc.are in order? Just to help us all stay on the same page.
* I require regular naps. I am grumpy without normal sleep. And guess what? So are you. We can not do our best work without naps. A napless day is just horrible for everybody. Let's not torture ourselves.
* No peeing on the floor! Or on your food! Or on me! I'm looking at you dude. You know who you are. Now I understand that your body has this neato little hose attached that can shoot water up to five feet away. This is a super cool feature on your body and I get that. However, it is completely gross and makes mommy want to barf when you cross your hands into the stream.
* It would be cool if you would clean up after yourself. See when daddy left for work there was no peanut butter smeared all over the couch and windows, or spaghetti dumped on the floor, or a cheez-its crumbled onto the floor ala Cookie Monster. And just because they are not there when he gets back, doesn't mean they didn't happen. Cause they totally happened.
* Dancing is mandatory. I love dancing with you babies. You are encouraged to call out your own dance party when ever the mood takes you.
* I will happily accept payment in hugs, new words, firsts and kisses. However, if a day comes where this is not sufficiant or I am expected to put in double overtime, I may also require cash and a massage.
* There may be a time when I am not doing a great job. I'm gonna throw it out there that it may even be once or twice (3 times?) a week. While I know that this will be my fault because I am the adult, I might think for a minute that it's your fault. Let's all agree to disagree about it and move on like civilized human beings.
* About that time when I thought you did that thing that you didn't do and you tried to tell me and I wouldn't listen? Sorry about that.
* I love you crazy people. And I always will.
* Oh My GOD Mr. Pants! What are you? Two? Rubbing your peanut butter hands all over your baby sister while trying to smooch her with globs of peanut butter dripping from your mouth is not a good idea bud. Not a good idea. Not at all.
* I will not make you wear clothes all the time, but please, how about some of the time? I'd be nice to have decent pictures of you in your third year of life without having to crop out your bits.
* Listen up, this one's important. Love your mom. Because no one will ever love you the way that she does. Yes you will know great love in your life. But hers will always be a little bit different from the others and in a class of it's own. Not better or worse (ok, maybe a little better). Just unique and unwaivering. Unconditional. A Mama's love is total. And both of you little babes are fiercely loved. So love your mama. Got it?
So now that we've got some rules and random statements to work with, let's get on to tomorrow and rule it. Bring on the sunshine and rainbows, Saturday! The Pants family is ready.
